Fast Away The Old Year Passes

Well, the last hours of 2008 are ticking away, and as usual here in Texas we weigh the joys of fireworks with the fear of grass fires in a drought. If we could trust our drunk, carefree, joyous, stupid neighbors to be as responsible as we are, we would have a lot less worry, but then again, whuddyagunnado?

The year is ending; the long holiday slide from Halloween to New Year's is coming to a close, and ordinary life is beginning to assert itself. For the past few days I've been pestered with thoughts of reform, re-organizing, and new projects. This has probably been fueled by the post-Christmas clean-up. Just today I've been doing a few things I've been meaning to do for a while, like opening The Year Without A Santa Claus action figures I got months ago. The idea of clearing the decks and starting anew is in the air.

I have a couple of new features I've been pondering for the blog for a while, and hope to implement them soon. In the meantime, a Happy New Year to all.

The Kid's Got Heart

Coming soon in January! More of SquareEnix's action figures from Kingdom Hearts. In this series are Sora and Riku as they appeared in the original Kingdom Hearts game, and Mickey Mouse as King Mickey in his Oranization XIII costume as he was in Kingdom Hearts II.

Winter: Favorite Poems

Winter

When icicles hang by the wall,

And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,

And Tom bears logs into the hall,

And milk comes frozen home in pail;

When blood is nipped, and ways be foul,

Then nightly sings the staring owl.

Tu-whit, to-who! a merry note,

While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

When all aloud the wind doth blow,

And coughing drowns the parson's saw,

And birds sit brooding in the snow,

And Marian's nose looks red and raw;

When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,

Then nightly sings the staring owl.

Tu-whit, to-who! a merry note,

While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

--William Shakespeare (1564-1616).

A lovely little gem on country life in the winter; most of the details still apply, from bad roads ("ways be foul") to coughing during the Sunday sermon ("parson's saw"). One particularly Christmasy detail are the "roasted crabs", which aren't seafood but roasted crab-apples, cooked in the wassail-bowl. And "greasy Joan" who "keels" (cools by stirring and skimming the top of) the pot is not greasy with food: she's sweating from working near the hot cooking pot. The keen little illustration is by Pauline Baynes, Lor' bless 'er.

A Consideration of Religious Action Figures; Or, Bible Toys

A little while ago there was some hoopla about Wal-Mart carrying the Accoutrements Jesus action figure. Some people thought it verged on the sacrilegious; others thought it pushed a religious agenda. I have some objections about it myself, and this is the main one: it is a poorly made figure.

The body of the Accoutrement Jesus is a hollow cone with wheels on the bottom, which, if backed up, makes the whole figure glide forward, just like a toy car. Why they thought this was appropriate to Jesus is beyond me; it seems that this action and his glow-in-the-dark hands are a none too subtle comment on the perceived iconographic expectations of "religious types". The fact that the figure of Pope is the only other one in their line that has this feature seems to support this theory. Their Deluxe Jesus figure is much better; this figure has feet and comes with loaves and fishes and no glowing hands. But the ordinary version is the one you see everywhere.

I am not going to get into a discussion of whether or not it is right to have an action figure of Jesus, or any religious figure. But if they are going to exist, they should at least compete in quality with the secular figures that are out there. And this is where toy companies with Christian agendas have fallen down.

Take the figures shown above. These are produced and sold at http://www.trainupachild.com/. Now I rather like these, in a weird way. I like the idea of having a Moses and Solomon and Angel action figure, and even the Jesus is better than Accoutrements in many ways. I would probably buy some of these if I was sure the site was still active. But the close up pictures I looked at revealed them to be rather crude and clumsy, with little character or style, and no accessories at all. Their costume sculpt shows little or no knowledge of historical accuracy or flair: David looks like some sort of pirate, and of Adam and Eve, the less said the better. Little art or care is apparent in their making, and that seems to me to indicate a lack of conviction. The same complaints, along with flimsiness, can be made of other biblical lines, like BibleQuest. Bad artistry is bad faith.

In comparison look at the figures of Lord Rama and Hanuman, offered by http://www.kridana.com/. Rama is supposed to be an avatar of Krishna, and Hanuman an aspect of Shiva; they both appear in the Hindu epic The Ramanya. Character, detail, and presence almost compel belief; you believe in them as characters if not as divine beings. If I was sure this site was still active, I would probably buy these, as well.

This is what producers of biblical action figures have to compete against, and it's about time they get cracking. And you need bad guys, too, fellas, and not just Goliath. Action figures are all just basically there to be characters in stories, stories that are told while they are being played with, and all stories are fueled by conflict. You know, like Good vs. Evil? I think there was something like that in the Bible.

Christmas Season Rhymes

God bless the master of this house,
The mistress bless also,
And all the little children
That round the table go;
And all your kin and kinsmen,
That dwell both far and near.
I wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year.

***

Bounce buckram, velvet's dear,
Christmas comes but once a year;
And when it comes, it brings good cheer,
But when it's gone, it's never near.

***

Ah, too true.

Memory And Musing Before Christmas Day

Almost as integral to the season as beloved carols and Christmas songs are parodies of these very same verses. From every two-bit commercial writer who can't scan the meter of 'Twas The Night Before Christmas to the classics like "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells" and "We three kings of Orient are/ Trying to smoke a rubber cigar", travesties and burlesques abound; these are connected, perhaps, through our seasonal frustrations and high spirits, to the old custom of the Lord of Misrule, under whose reign topsy-turvydom was celebrated to help blow off steam. My brothers seem to have the power to reel off such songs extempore and have them make satiric or crazy sense; I have come up with only one poor example in my life, and here it is:

"Here comes Santy Claus, here comes Santy Claus,
Right down Santy Claus Lane.
Jams and jellies fill our bellies
On Santy Claus Lane!
The king is coming! All hail his call!
When you've said Santy you've said it all!
Fa la la la, fa la la la la la la..."

Thus incorporating "Here Comes Santa Claus" with "Ain't We Got Fun" and an old Budweiser beer commercial.

I've seen in several places lately what I can only call the defense of an un-Christian Christmas. Various post-ers and pundits have talked about how, although they are far from being Christians of any sort of stripe, they still celebrate Christmas for all its pageantry and pleasantry, its memories and spirit. And I say, God bless them, go for it. In the midst of their wintry philosophies if they can have at least a little taste of the Great Feast and Dance which is at the core of our faith, they may have a few crumbs that fall from the table. It might give them a desire to finally come in, sit down, and join the party.

And so, until the festivities have died down, look to see me no more. Merry Christmas to all, and God bless us, every one.

I Got Nothing

Well, that's not technically true. I have things, but it's all kind of trivial, and I really have no impulse to rant, pontificate, or enthuse on any of it. So here's just a list of recent stuff, with maybe a note or two along the way.

Action Figures:
Wounded Hellboy, with Bird Cage and Samaritan
Hellboy, includes Cat, Six-Pack, and Samaritan
Dr. Henry Jones, with Umbrella, Portmanteau, Grail Journal, and Grail
Beetlejuice, with Snakes and Guide For The Recently Deceased
Dr. Weir, with a bunch of Stargate junk and a Copy of War and Peace
*That's three new books for the action figure library!

Books:
China and Japan: Myths and Legends, by Donald A. Mackenzie
Egyptian Myth and Legend, by Donald A. Mackenzie
Medieval Beasts, by Anne Payne
The Wordsworth Dictionary of the Underworld, by Eric Partridge (thieves' patois, and such)
The Sea: Myths and Legends, by Angelo S. Rappoport
A Treatise On Angel Magic, ed. Adam McLean
Charles Dickens, by G. K. Chesterton
We Remember C. S. Lewis, ed. David Graham
Giants, Monsters & Dragons, by Carol Rose.

That seems like a lot, but I got them all from HalfPrice Books and Bargain Books. Giants, Monsters & Dragons I found to be a particularly good book; it's encyclopedic, scholarly, and interestingly illustrated with old and unusual pictures. I was also glad to find a Chesterton I don't have; I mean there's a lot of his books I don't have, but to find one is so rare.

I suppose this is Christmas kicking in; I just want to go along with the season. locking down under the cold, watching Christmas shows with the kids, and eating rich food until violently ill. Giant tamales today, very popular about this time in Texas! I can feel the boigle beginning already.

By the way, is anyone else outraged about the diminishing number of chocolate covered cherries to a box?