What's In The Bag?

What's in the bag?
What can it be?
Somebody left it here
On Halloween.
Sometimes it gurgles
And sometimes it screams.
What's in the bag?
Let's see.

On a cold and windy evening
Someone left it at our door.
It was the weirdest thing
We've ever seen before.
We tried to open it,
But that we couldn't do,
'Cause every time we tried
It moved.

Oh,
What can it be?
Oh my oh me,
What can it be?
Oh, wouldn't you
Just love to see?
Oh,
What can it be?

What's in the bag?
What can it be?
Somebody left it here
On Halloween.
Sometimes it gurgles,
And sometimes it screams.
What's in the bag?
Let's see.

We put it in some water,
But it floated to the top.
We stood on top of it,
But it just knocked us off.
We lit some dynamite,
But it blew out the fuse.
And sometimes late at night
It sings the blues.

Oh,
What can itbe?
Oh my, oh me,
What can it be?
Oh, wouldn't you
Just love to see?
What can it be?
...It's me!

It was the early Seventies, and there was The Groovy Goolies, the most phantasmagorical polychromatic cast of weirdos to ever grace a kid's show with Laugh-In style joke delivery and songs by The Archies, no less. Most of the songs were rollicking good fun, but a few of them delivered a true eerie punch, and "What's In The Bag?" was one of our favorites. Hagatha's struggles with the unknown entity demonstrated to us early the old horror maxim that the unseen and suggested is often scarier than the revealed. At the end of the song, when the screen went dark, and the creepily joyous voice said "It's Me!" and started laughing, Hagatha struck a match... that was immediately blown out, revealing nothing.

I almost pooped my pants.