Friday, November 16, 2018

The Futility and Basic Stupidity of Evil

[Boris places the fabulous, intelligence-boosting Kirward Derby on his head]

Natasha Fatale : I got notebook, dahlink. Speak up.

Boris Badenov : Ah, it's all coming clear!

Natasha Fatale : Yes, dahlink! How do we rule the world?

Narrator : But something remarkable seemed to be happening to Boris.

Natasha Fatale : What is it, dahlink? What are you thinking?

Boris Badenov : I can see it now...

Natasha Fatale : Go ahead!

Boris Badenov : Being a villain is such a waste of time!

Natasha Fatale : What?

Boris Badenov : Nobody likes me, not even other villains. If everybody was like me, what a terrible world it would be. The wise thing to do is learn a trade, like making apple boxes. Raise family. Gain respect of neighbors. Have friends. Because, Natasha... Crime really doesn't pay! And -

[angrily removing the Kirward Derby]

Boris Badenov : Phooey, phooey!

Natasha Fatale : Boris! You're not going to wear Kirward Derby?

Boris Badenov : You said it! If *that's* being smart, you can have it!

[Boris throws the hat through an open window]

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