1) How much I had come to rely on my computer for most of my entertaining for casual moments. I constantly turned reflexively to the computer desk when I was bored, rather than books or TV.
2) How much I had come to rely on my computer for news, research, and keeping in touch socially.
3) How little some people (and among them I count myself) understood the urges and purposes behind my blogging.
I came to this realization during my efforts to obtain the replacement computer. A lady whom I know (and whose opinions on the business of life I greatly respect) evinced the opinion that there was very little practical value (i. e., monetary benefit) in my activities, beyond perhaps practicing my composition and writing skills. In fact, to her thinking, what I was doing was basically boasting about my possessions, bragging about my supposed superior mental skills, and indulging in a sort of constant sort of one-ups-manship with a network of strangers and fanatics.
I was stunned. I was confounded. I was even...flabbergasted. Before I could splutter out any explanations or justifications she passed on to other, more pressing matters, and I was left to flounder emotionally in her wake.
Well, I finally got my new computer, and with no small thanks to her good efforts. After some further fooferaw getting my web connection re-established, I am finally able to start posting again. But before I do, I thought I would consider my aims and motives in blogging, to make it clear to myself and to have a ready answer should the subject ever arise again.
I really can't blame the practical lady for her misapprehensions. I don't know for sure that she has ever even looked at PowerOfBabel. The literary by-waters I habitually navigate are of little interest to her (she enjoys mystery thrillers) and the world of action figures even less. So the few times I talked about my activities with her was to mention in passing things like my 500TH post or my 40,000TH hit or the people from foreign countries who had looked at my blog.
I suppose to anyone who doesn't realize what modest accomplishments these are in the world of blogging (especially over a four year period or so) it might seem like bragging. I believe most of her impression of on-line life comes from accounts of flame-wars, trolling, and Facebook tragedies. I do not know if she realizes that blogging for applause or recognition is rather like (to adapt Robert Graves dictum on poetry) dropping a rose petal into the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
So, why do I blog? Its minor function is as a sort of informal journal, scrapbook, and commonplace record. I have a few scattered friends and family; the blog is an excellent way to keep in touch with them about my enthusiasms and activities. I make notes about things and pin them down for my own satisfaction. If anyone else finds these of interest or it helps them, so much the better.
But the main thing I do, I like to think, is serve my subject. It's not ranking, or popularity, or any sort of gain. That kind of thing is rather hopeless in my situation. But if I can bring forward some sort of obscure work, dust it off a little, and show its merits, or if I can illuminate a minor aspect of a larger work, I think my efforts are worth it.
Any sort of personal matter that enters my posts is usually by way of explanation of how I found out about something or what my credentials are for some assertion. I hope boasting has very little to do with it. I don't think I would ever monetize my blog because of the constraints it might put on what I could publish.
So there it is. I'm ready to start up again. Despite crashed computers, knock-you-down heatwaves, emotional distress, and my own dilatory nature, it's time to get back up on the horse once more. My next post should be much more interesting than this one, because it will be about something other than me.