Not Quite A Review of "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"

When we were little boys, my brothers and I had what we called "playings." We would gather together a cast of action figures and other toys, characters would be assigned, and a general plot selected; then the playing would begin. Sometimes the storylines of history, movies, or favorite books would be chosen, and in that case a special rule was invoked: we could personally embellish the characters and the details of action, but the broad strokes of character and plot must be maintained. What we have concluded about The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is that Peter Jackson & Co. are having a playing on the most enormous scale and with the best set of action figures in the world.

The reactions to DOS (as The Desolation of Smaug shall now be referred to) has basically fallen into two camps. There are the Purists who regret every deviation from Tolkien's work, and there are the Film-Fans who love having an exciting movie. The Purists dislike the dilation of time and space (the voyage from Beorn's house to the Lonely Mountain seems to take about a week at most), the introduction of actions and characters not in the book (the wood-elf Tauriel getting to do all the stuff Arwen didn't get to do in the LOTR films), and the ramping up of action (need movie excitement? just add Orc-chases!). The Film-Fans, on the other hand, are glad that all the slow, establishing moments of The Unexpected Journey are over, and the adventure can begin in earnest. They love the exciting impetus of DOS, with its swiftly unrolling tapestry of fights, escapes, scenery, and original revelations of different characters and situations. The almost three hours passes in a snap, and watchers are definitely left at a point of wanting more.

As for myself, I am somewhere between the two camps. I wish Jackson & Co. could adhere more closely to Tolkien, but that ship sailed a long time ago. This is their "playing"; as long as they don't deviate too far (and how far is too far?) from the given characters and storyline, I don't mind some embellishing or festooning or time compression. As apologists have said countless times now, this is, after all, a movie and not a book. Jackson & Co. have left themselves an out, of course: they feign that the book of The Hobbit is Bilbo's memoirs, edited and with omissions, and that the movie shows what 'really' happened (and I can see why he would want to leave out the embarassing "melting gold" incident). Oddly enough the things that bother me most are conceptual deviations from Tolkien, like the idea that the Dwarves (a notoriously hard-headed and practical people) are operating on prophecies, or that a "simple Sylvan wood-elf" like Tauriel can use healing skills like a high Eldar. But I came out of the theater in a happy and exalted mood, having enjoyed DOS quite a lot.

So we are left with a gaggle of questions and speculations until the final movie. Does Bilbo already have the Arkenstone? (Probably.) How will Bard get out of prison to kill Smaug? Did Gandalf deliberately get captured to force the White Council's hand? Are Kili and Tauriel headed for a fore-doomed conclusion, or will they sneak off secretly together to avoid the ire of both their kindreds? Will Saruman have a tempting encounter with evil in Dol Guldur? And what about...Naomi? For the answers to these, and other burning questions, tune in for the next thrilling episode of Jackson & Co.'s playing of...The Hobbit!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Action Figures

It has been quite a while since I wrote about any action figures (which, when I started this blog, was the main focus of what I was rambling on). Indeed, it may not have been since the last release by Bridge Direct of their action figures connected with Peter Jackson's Hobbit movies. This has not been because I haven't been getting any more figures (an Adventure Time Ice King, a smattering of the old Jeff Smith's Bone characters, one or two pieces from The Walking Dead come to mind); I just haven't felt compelled to write about them. But this line touches two of my hobby-horses, Middle-Earth and action figures, and I feel moved by the god within me to speak once more, so hark as I start up my rant, which is no rave.

First of all, right now I am focusing on getting the 6 inch scale figures. This is, of course, because they are compatible with the dozens of Toy Biz LOTR figures that already exist. And, as you can see, the first wave consists of Legolas Greenleaf, Azog, and Radagast the Brown. Of these, I now have Azog and Radagast; they are figures of characters that have never been made yet, and appear in both Hobbit films, and make perfect sense. But another Legolas? There was a Legolas in the last wave, and he didn't even appear in the first movie. I get it: that was Peter Jackson's fault, with his last minute decision to make The Hobbit into three films. But given the elf's already established presence in the line, couldn't his place have been taken by a new character? I, for one, would have loved a Balin, but if you had to have a matinee idol hero type, surely they could have had Bard (another archer appearing in DOS), or failing that at least one of the "heart-throb" dwarves, Fili or Kili? I get it, though. Legolas, Legolas, oh lovely Legolas, swoon swoon swoon. Plus, how economic to simply run it again! Just like the 3 3/4 inch scale Action Pack has only one new figure, Thranduil, in it. Anyone (like me) who have been collecting LOTR action figures for years already has a dozen variants of Legolas, and anyone new to the scene probably already has one from last year. Could we please just move on?

Okay, to focus on what we have been given. The figure of Azog the Defiler is a good sculpt, about seven inches tall, and nicely rendered, from his mass of scars to his kilt of tanned dwarf faces. He comes with his bone mace. The elbow and knee joints are rather stiff, and give the impression that if you tried to force a bend they might break. Neck, shoulder, wrist, and ankle joints are fine; the waist joint appears non-existent. So, posability limited, playability adequate, looks great.

I have written elsewhere in this blog that I love wizard action figures, so I am of course most excited about having Radagast the Brown at last in action figure form. This is a very nice sculpt, the face looks exactly like Sylvester McCoy's make-up (except he doesn't have one eyebrow up and one down). But the asymmetry extends through the rest of the figure: two different sleeves, two different shoes, show the patchwork indifference of the wizard, as does the bird's nest in his hair and the bird poop down his face. Details of hair, beard, and clothes are good, except if you look under his cloak, where it seems he is clothed in a featureless plastic onesie. Comes with his eccentric hat and gnarled staff. As with Azog, elbows and knees a little stiff, and no head turning on this figure, but he has a waist joint. So, once more, posability limited, playability adequate, looks great.

What is it with Bridge Direct? They have this great franchise, and I can't help but feel they've dropped the ball, somehow. This is how one representative described their policy decisions as reported at TheOneRing.net:

“We know many fans would like to see a wider range of characters offered for DOS, however this is the complete line for this film. We are huge fans of LOTR and Hobbit, and would like nothing more than to release figures of every character, but there are many factors that determine how many we can effectively produce.

For example, retailers have specific dates when new product goes into stores. To meet those dates, our development process starts 18 months before figures are in stores. This provides time for sculpting, painting, revisions, studio approval, manufacturing time, shipping, etc.

Therefore, if character appearance is not finalized that far in advance (particularly for digitally generated/animated characters), we cannot make them in time for retail launch. There is also the matter of minimum order quantities in manufacturing: we have to make 10s of thousands of pieces of each character! So if we include 10 characters in the 6″ figure assortment, that’s over 100k pieces of product, minimum. If our retailers can’t commit to buying that many pieces, we have to cut down the number of characters in the assortment to make the order quantity viable.

It was always our goal to offer the widest variety of characters possible in both scales, within the parameters of how much our retailers can sell. Based on sales of product from Unexpected Journey, we found that there was a larger market for the 6″ figures and therefore have been able to offer more characters in that scale.

We know the Tolkien fan base is passionate and appreciate their continued interest in our line. We also hope that the fans can appreciate our passion and commitment to quality, as well as the conditions that make it impossible to offer every character in every scale. Looking forward to the film and a successful sell-through of the figures at retail so we can offer more cool stuff for part 3!”

Anyone could have foreseen the popularity of the 6 inch line, and now hindsight can wonder whether it might not have been better to concentrate on that line and make a more diverse cast that would broaden its appeal. I know I would have bought more--if there had been more to buy. As it is, they seem to fall between two stools with their two scales. I hope they haven't self-destructed on the deal; I would like to buy more Hobbit action figures--more diverse action figures--for more years to come.